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something i needed to tell.
and if i use you as my audience, because i can´t tell it to the person it´s about, i hope you don´t mind.

i don´t want to provoke pity. i may want to make you feel sympathetic tho. maybe you´ve felt that way before?
i´ve suffered little pangs of this sort from time to time, can´t remember it being as strong as tonight tho.
i´ve been trying to figure out, how i can be close enough to my loved ones to prevent such blows for ages, and i became very good at it. comes to show tho, that one can never achieve perfection.

please refrain from superficial get well comments, even if they´re well meant! if your feelings are with me and are strong, maybe you could try expressing them in your own artsy way. anyways, being able to put it in words, crude and drastic as it may be, has helped a lot already.

thank you all for reading.
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